This past week, in a church meeting, a father with two children similar in age to mine, said for his “fun fact” icebreaker that he has learned he can do impressively well on little sleep. If I am being honest, one of the things I was most nervous for when I had Ada was getting little sleep. I knew it was inevitable and I was scared of what I would be like without my typical 8-hours-a-night sleep rhythm.
Like this new father, however, I’ve learned that your body adjusts. Your mind adjusts. Even on nights when there is hardly any sleep, my attitude now two kids in is more likely to be: We’ve done this before and we can make it through the day instead of crumbling.
Of course, you could ask my husband and know that I can often also have impatience, irritability, and unkindness after these sleepless nights but thankfully, amazingly, this little sleep has not left me completely bereft of self-control, joy, and gentleness. In some ways, perhaps, these fruits of the Spirit have been strengthened because they are having to be worked at without the sleep, without my body feeling rested. They are having to be worked out when it is, in fact, actually work and a discipline.
I was reflecting on this all a few weekends back after a particulary difficult sleep night. Throughout the night, I had been frustrated and upset about the lack of sleep I was having. And, in the morning, I of course woke up tired. But also, I awoke and was especially excited by my cup of tea and my weariness led me to spend more time on the couch cuddling my babies. Though I was no where near a perfectly chipper person, I had found mercy waiting for me that morning. Mercy in the form of Irish breakfast tea and Encanto songs playing and a husband who had the patience and wisdom to ignore any fights I might start to pick out of tiredness. I was met with the mercy of Scripture to read and a new podcast to enjoy and the spring weather making it possible to sit outside on the grass.
In those nights when sleep is a wash, when babies are perpetually sick, when moods and attitudes leave everyone feeling frayed, it can be tempting to think How in the world am I supposed to keep doing this for many more years with any semblense of sanity, patience, and kindness?
But then, the sun rises and the tea kettle is turned on and there is mercy waiting. As the Israelites found manna we find mercies in the morning waiting for us, though they were not there the night before. We find the strength, the wisdom, the compassion, the joy, the forgiveness we need to make it through the current day.
Weeping may last through the night but surely joy and mercy will be waiting for us come morning.
Have a great weekend, friends!
and now for some recommendations…
to listen… Loving Ellie Holcomb’s album Spring Songs for the kiddos! It’s so fun and great to dance to with your little ones!
to read… I picked up Then Sings My Soul at the library. The author writes a brief background on 150 famous hymns throughout history (some going back thousands of years!). It’s been an uplifting book and each hymn’s background just takes a few minutes to read.